In Chapter 2, C.S. Lewis vents his grief in such a way that it almost seems blasphemous. He questions the goodness of God, the intentions of God towards humanity and the idea of heaven.
It seems to me that the realness of death struck him so, that the idea of a quick fix, such as heaven, seemed to surreal. Lewis should no disregard toward fantasy. He did however write the chronicles of Narnia. I think that is why a place like heaven and the fantastical paradigms people have towards eternal life were like a chapter he would write in a book... for children. Real life, which includes real death are the only tangible and meaningful things. He says,
And the past is the past and that is what time means, and time itself is one more name for death, and Heaven itself is a state where 'the former things have passed away.
It was impacting to see a man in his frail state of humanity express his doubts in such bold manner. Everybody has doubts. No one is exempt. Letting others see them and see our struggles, however, is something that few people do. It must be done at some point in everyone's life. In chapter 3, Lewis comes to terms with the knowledge that he cannot find the answers to all his questions. This spoke to my situation. I have been doubting God, redemption, the exclusivity of Christianity, and basically everything I've been taught.
It's so hard to sort out what is real and what is simply a message from yet another misinformed person. Good God, bad God? Jesus-God? I can go on and on. Yet kind of like in chapter 3,
I have come to terms. My heart and my head have made peace with each other. I know what works and I feel what's real. Hopefully, God will guide me in the rest and show me what is Him and what is not.
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