What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

An interpretation of the text - Special Post

This fictional story written by Raymond Carver is a conversation between four friends who are trying to describe love or debate what the word love really means. There is Mel, the cardiologist, and his wife, Terri. Then there's Mel’s best friend, Nick, who is also the narrator of the story and Nick’s wife Laura. The entire time, the characters are sitting around a kitchen table passing around a bottle of gin. They are progressively getting drunk as the conversation goes on, making them more vulnerable and honest with their emotions and thoughts. The main topic that circulates is that of love. As the evening progresses, this topic makes things awkward and stirs things up. They bring up relationships from the past and their own opinions of love, creating a defensive atmosphere. Finally, after they have exhausted the subject, there seems to be no definite conclusion. All the baggage and concepts of previous paradigms they have about love, leaves them with nothing to say at the end of the night.

The concepts that are revealed throughout the story are that love is not absolute. If this story were selectively told by one of the characters, then the reader would have a more bias opinion of love. It is like the saying, “You have to hear every side of the story.” Everyone brought their piece of mind to the kitchen table. The four-way conversation is what really brings the questions about love. In the end, you cannot pick a side or choose a winning theory.

At first, the story seems to be creating a definition for love that the reader can catch at the end of the story. This could very well be the case, but the definition is not so clear at first glance. The whole thing starts when Laura mentions her ex-boyfriend, who was extremely violent and had beaten her and even tried to kill her; yet she says that he loved her. Her husband, Mel, is at first very cutthroat and shuns her idea saying things like, “that’s not love and you know it.” Laura appears to be very defensive about how Mel takes it upon himself to categorize love so easily and exclude any cases he deems abnormal. Even his friend Nick suggests that what Mel is saying is that love is absolute. Apparently this is a touchy subject that is scratching the surface when Laura tells her husband, “He did love me, Mel. Grant me that. That’s all I’m asking.” Of course as the reader, undoubtedly one would think that it is absurd to say that an abusive love is really love at all. Initial instincts make us lean more towards Mel’s black and white point of view; that that cannot be love and never will be.

Things start blooming when Laura says something that could be easily overlooked, but brings power to her argument. She says, “It was love. Sure, it’s abnormal in most people’s eyes. But he was willing to die for it. He did die for it.” Right there, Laura was saying that love is passionate, crazy, and worthwhile, worth everything. She was willing to put up with all the abuse only because she felt it was real love through it all. This was a very distinct point of view from that of Mel’s who later on says he would have liked to be a knight because they were always safe from danger. This shows the walls some have around their heart. They want the normal, protected love. It’s not a bad thing, but in the end there is always a risk. Nick informs Mel that being a knight wasn’t the best gig, since sometimes their armor was so heavy and hot that they would suffocate in it and die, leaving them to be trampled by their own horses. This gave much insight to Mel’s own fate, or people who think like him. In trying to protect themselves, they end up suffocated in their own worry and doubt. They lock themselves up in the sheltered armor that eventually takes the life away from them. People like Laura; on the other hand desire to feel all the intensity of emotion. She wants to know the feelings are there, no matter how they are displayed. She wants to feel it all. All or nothing.

The meaning of true love never becomes clear, per say. That is the point. We are different and receive and give love in different ways. The only thing that is clearly defined is that love should be passionate. Towards the end of the night, Mel tells a story of two old patients that he had who were under severe conditions. They were a married couple. The husband has a mouth, nose, and eye-holes. Mel goes on to say that the old man was severely depressed even after hearing that his wife was going to live. He asked him why and the man said that it was because he could not see his wife through his eye-holes. Mel was astonished that the car accident wasn’t killing him, but the simple fact that he couldn’t see the woman he loved. He was dying of a broken heart. Love should be something we would die for or else, “Now what?” as Terri said in the end of the story. We could just eat or not eat, as Nick later on says in the table, pretend we feel love or not feel love at all. Which is the greater evil? Clinging on to love even if it hurts us or never truly engaging in love at all? This is what the story is really saying. We cannot place a guideline for love. It is not a sign; it is a symbol that is defined by what surrounds it. The question is: are we going to embrace love without inhibitions it or let it die out so that WE will not get hurt?

Christ, Christians, and The "Others"

Growing up in a church my whole life I have seen many amazing happenings from the pulpit. I was raised Pentecostal, to believe in miracles and the giftings of the Holy Spirit. I have seen people raised from the dead, diamonds fall from heaven, evil spirits coming out of people, gold dust on the hands of musicians, and so much more that sounds unbelievable. When a community of believers, however, is so dependent on the move of the Holy Spirit that it becomes there only focus or source of outreach, it loses its true power. It become another stereotype church that Hollywood makes fun of. In his paper, Steven M. Fettke speaks about the churches treatment with his disabled son. How is the church reaching out to the sick and broken hearted? Did God really intend us to lay hands on everything with stomping, shouting, and Hallelujahs to make things better? I remember as a young girl, when the congregation was called to the alter for prayer, if there was a disabled person that went up it made everyone uncomfortable. Everyone would watch, not really expecting for such great a miracle to happen but at the same time desire it so badly because that was the only “acceptable” solution to this persons problem. After hard and fervent prayer, if the person didn’t stand up and walk or jump then the preacher would resign to the unknown mystery of God’s timing and the congregation would figure it was a lack of faith on someone’s behalf.

The power and authority that Christ has given the church to reach the WORLD is far more than a display of miracles. Jesus did speak of miracles and healings when he said, “And these signs shall follow those who believe… ” But he also told the parable of the many that would enter the throne of judgment saying, “Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” These are harsh and scary words to even think of hearing one day. How is it that people like that can be subject to separation from God? I believe there could be a connection between how God would like the church to work on His behalf and how the church is failing to do so. So many times in the Bible mere acts of kindness are referenced with high esteem. Christ calls us to “be the least of these” and take care of the widows and the orphans, visit the sick and those in prison, pray for your enemies and so on. These things do not require a revival service; it is a lifestyle of a community of light. God calls us to be ambassadors of Christ, which means to carry on His affairs, as He would do. The church should not rely on miracles to demonstrate their authority to the lost, but reveal Christ love through actions of service and humbleness. Did not Paul say that though I speak with tongues of angles but do not have love, I am only a resounding sound? God is love and as we love we lift up His name like a banner. Christ said, “When I be lifted up I will draw all men unto me.” There is stated the key to church outreach.

Writing With Purpose

"Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depth of your heart; confess to yourself you would have to die if you were forbidden to write."
— Rainer Maria Rilke
Ideas and themes for writing more often come naturally to the writer, however, who is to say which ideas are pen-worthy? There are many topics or situations that a writer can select for a theme. For example: death, love, hate, friendship, nature, human attitudes, human failure and so on. Some of these topics are not bedtime story material, but that’s perfectly fine. Why? The reason is because life is complex. Life is full of beauty that is not only revealed through gentle sentiments but also through trials and humbling situations. This is why when we write we can express ourselves through a variety of topics. Choosing what to write about is not the issue, it is finding a reason to write. When writing successfully, if the topic makes the author laugh, the audience will laugh; if the author cries, the audience will cry.

One can take “The Boys Next Door” as an example of a seemingly controversial topic. The play is about four grown men who are mentally retarded. The script is quite comical. Is it appropriate, however, to find humor in the endearing situations of the mentally retarded? We discussed this question in class. Some people thought it was better to not bring up topics that might make others uncomfortable. Would that do any good in the end however? Real life is out there, as are the mentally challenged. The way that the play was written was not only endearing but it has the ability to open the eyes of the people who might feel “uncomfortable” reading a play like this. Familiarity with conflictive topics always helps people think in a broader perspective. Going back to what I said previously, I don’t believe there is any topic that has to do with life that is beyond the limits of literature, as long as there is a purpose. Purpose gives sense to every conversation, poem or play. What is it that we want to communicate? On what areas of life do we want to shed light over? I believe with this in mind, there is no prohibited topic or situation. It is purpose that gives meaning and life to our writing.

Darkness and Hope, Ashes and Beauty

My life took a turn for the worst when I was eighteen-years old. I got involved with the wrong people and allowed myself to acquire a mindset that only belittled me as a person and a Christian. Bit by bit, I felt as if my heart and values were falling apart, till all that was left was bitterness and shame; darkness and ashes. The funny thing about these periods of darkness is that they come in the worst times apparently. It reminds me of a passage that C.S. Lewis wrote in his book, A Grief Observed. In where he speaks about the times when God is knocking at our door, but it is almost an interruption to our lives, but when we need Him, He seems to not be around. When I look back at my time of darkness, now I see that the timing was perfect because I was surrounded by support in order to heal and learn. It was a test of my own strength and hope. As Paul Corrigan says in his essay Darkness, Questions, Poetry and Spiritual Hope, “Facing darkness, ultimately, however, is not about darkness but about hope, about validating our spiritual hope.” Although my darkness was exposed to everyone, the validity of my hope eventually shined brighter than my past mistakes. Fighting against the pessimistic prophesies and opinions about oneself is half the battle. Finding hope and beauty in darkness and ashes is victory attained. No matter what, every person will face these moments. It is not something we can choose where, when, and how to happen. This is why choosing to find the positive outcomes of every situation should not be underestimated. It is the mindset that allows life and growth to come forth from our hardships.

Mary Oliver wrote about a dream she had where a person handed her a box full of darkness, but it was the greatest gift she had received. Could it be because darkness reminds us of the hope that we are so desperately in need of? Paul Corrigan referred to the Psalm that says, “As we walk through the valley of the shadow…” Even men and women throughout the Scriptures express their personal experience of darkness and the questions that it stirs up. The same psalmist that wrote about the valley of the shadow said, “I shall not fear, for You are with me.” Darkness brings us back to our source of hope. It is the same with faith. Without previous doubts, is there really any power in what made us believe? And anything that can turn ashes into beauty is worthy of praise. In these things, lie the power of our testimonies.

The Nature of Things

The Nature of Things

A breeze ripples the lake
Making it move and come alive
A wind dances between the trees
Making them sway joyfully
Nature complements nature
The night makes bloom the Cereus
The dew coats the land like a canopy
In the distance, far from earth
The sun appears as a gem
Rising like a sapphire
Creating wavelets of golden honey
It is guilty of fanfaronade
As it stages a boastful blaze
The birds greet it with songs
Every element of nature
Gives beauty to another
We are the spectators and
Protectors of such beauty

During the time I spend in the park, I spent time standing still, sitting, listening, observing, and thinking. Sometimes, I wouldn’t think at all, but let my surroundings awaken thoughts that I myself could not provoke. I took the suggestion of Mary Oliver- to be still and learn how to be astonished. It was an exercise that took effort, but I believe even Lectio Divina and other class exercises helped prepare me for that moment. Soaking in the beauty and wonder around us is almost a forgotten art. So easily we pass by the moments that give quality to life.

The main idea that inspired the poem I wrote was the attitude of nature. Nature cares for itself, gives life, and beauty to the rest of it. Nothing stands alone. There is a dependency and selflessness about it and how it works. Lessons can be taught just by observing the interdependency of the world around us. It is truly quite astonishing and humbling. This also placed in me a greater sense of responsibility. What is our job as the likeness of God in regards to the Earth? This question arose in me. If nature knows its place and how to take care of itself, how come we cannot meet those standards as well? All the Earth and everything in it has been given to mankind to guard and benefit from. Mary Oliver also spoke about this- the holy stewardship that we should dutifully accomplish.

I also noticed that writing about nature was very fluent once observation was followed thoroughly. Observation is the main key I believe. Trying to compare elements in nature with other elements really brought the descriptions to life- like the sun as a golden sapphire. Also giving objects in nature personalities or attitudes, such as the boastful sun, dancing wind, joyful trees. All these things helped me knit the words together for the poem.

I went to Lake Bonny Park for this assignment, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes.

The Poems of Mary Oliver

Mary Oliver has taken words and knitted them together beautifully. All of her poems were so enjoyable and hold a lot of truth. Even as she talks about prayer she says, "patch a few words together and don't try to make them elaborate, this isn't a contest but a doorway". Perhaps literature is not just the eloquence of words, but the paths that lead us through doorways of questions and understandings? What is communication after all, but a message that was meant to be heard and understood. Like Jesus said, "he who has ears, let him hear," and as Mary Oliver said, "just pay attention". There seems to be a pattern.

In her poems she writes of spiritual depth, sorrow, prayer, appreciating the nature around us. In class, we were prompted to listen and observe nature. Mary wrote something very inspirational about this idea: "Let me keep my mind on what matters, which is my work, which is mostly standing still and learning to be astonished." The key word in this is LEARNING to be astonished. There is so much around us that is "astonishing" and beautiful, but we have become desensitized to it. It must be a sought after process to learn how to appreciate the amazing things God has placed among us for our enjoyment. The author mentions how important these things are even as religious people. One can see how, indeed, our stewardship of the Earth also reflects our godliness. This is an insightful and valuable lesson... told within a poem.

Although the poems by Mary Oliver were written with so much insight, they were still simple. Simplicity has and will always be beautiful. It catches the light in just the right way. This is how her poems inspire me. There is no need to say more than what is needed. Some of her poems were just life-thoughts she jotted down as she woke up from a dream. It seems as though she lives the life of a poet: reflecting, observing, wondering, questioning...

The State of The Planet

Although the title, “The State of The Planet” is pretty straight-forward and obvious, the poem in itself is complex and intricate. Robert Hass seems to be taking more of an approach to describing human nature and how we have gotten ourselves into this mess. “It must be a gift of evolution that humans can’t sustain wonder.” He really brings out questions about human character and perhaps our naïve acts that progressively destroy the world.

The author makes much reference to Lucretius, who was a Roman poet and Virgil, who wrote poems that gave agricultural advice. Tying in these styles of poetry, along with message, and a valuable purpose made the poem elaborate. Mentioning of “the book” that will tell the girl many things about the Earth and how things work, and what became of it gives the poem a story-like feel. It’s mysterious, like the story of Narnia, where Lucy enters into a whole new realm and then is able to see her own world differently.

Another thing that I appreciated about this poem is its usefulness. Of course, as we have been learning, all literature is useful in our lives. But in particular, I was intrigued to read about the topic of “Caring for our planet” with a poetic twist. It moves the reader, gives insight into human conduct and our responsibility towards Earth, and lets us see beauty and remorse for the consequences of our doings. Seeing that poetry can have a strong effect on world views, personal views, and other important topics helped me further understand the multifaceted quality of literature. “The State of The Earth” was a more effective tool to a necessary topic than most of the commercials and rallies we see. I would like to see poetry used to raise QUESTIONS about abortion, racism, and consumer behavior. After all, literature serves for asking the hard questions.

Creating Character

Creating a well-rounded, versatile character is a challenging task. While people-watching, I noticed that jotting down words that could describe the subjects was a much more difficult task than I had anticipated. I recalled the factors that tied character together: Physical description, what people say about the person, what the person says, and the actions of the person. In order to better understand these steps, I took into account how I measure a person the first time I meet them. First of all, and this is the most obvious, I notice their physical characteristics. The way they dress can tell me a lot about how they look at themselves or desire other people to treat them. For example, a sloppy person doesn't care about appearance and possibly many other things, but a well-dressed person may want to be treated well and given special attention. Secondly, I may have heard certain comments about the person before. Whether they were positive or negative, I will have a better discernment about who this person is. The way others interact with them can give me insight into the social history of this person... whether or not he/she is rude, polit, respectful, endearing, etc. Thirdly, what this person says and does. What a person talks about is directly tied to their heart, motives, and actions. This reminds me of the Bible verse in Proverbs that states, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh." After observing all these things, one can really pin-point the general character of a person. This is, of course, to an extent.

Finally, when I pondered on how to create my own character, I realized I needed to do the following: Make my character come alive to the reader, till they know him so well that they can predict his next move. How? Because they know his personality, values, traits, etc. When I can achieve this, I have created a well-rounded character. At the same time, however, I don't want to make such a predictable and obvious chacarcter. I have to keep the reader guessing, but not too the extent that my character is more plot based. His character should direct the story line.

My Birthday- 40 Years From Now

Sounds of silverware being placed in the white top tables echoed through the opened window. The saxophone joined the racket as the jazz band began to rehearse. Excitement was in the air, as the elegant party was in preparation. Invitations had been sent out months in advance. Sealed with classy red wax and embroidered with gold lace. Many people were invited, yet only a few in contrast to how many the hosts knew.

Her name was Elizabeth Garvey, but she liked to be called Beth. It was her 61st birthday party and she only had five hours to get ready. She pulled up a cushioned stool in front of her mirror and began the routine of applying her make-up. It didn’t go on the same as 40 years ago. Nevertheless, she could make the best of anything, even the wrinkled eyes and tighter lips.

A knock came through the door and gently opened. Her husband Scott walked into the room. He stood behind looking at her through the mirror. “Have I told you today how beautiful you are?” He said, brushing her hair with his fingers. Beth turned around in her stool and their hands met. “I think this is he first today.” She replied. He looked at his watch “It’s 11 o’clock, so I still have half a day to make up for only having said it once so far.” He said, giving her a playful kiss. Beth laughed, “Now run along, I have a few more things to put on.” He reluctantly stepped outside and continued the many preparations for the big party.

Beth snuck around the house trying not to be seen by anyone who may want to have a conversation. She was looking for her one of her younger grandchildren; small talk with the youngsters was the most gratifying and simple conversations. “Jacob!” She spotted one. He was reaching for the chocolates on the table. He stepped back thinking he had been caught. Beth kneeled down to get eye-level with him. “Sweetheart, I need you to tell me if Grandma looks good. I can’t trust your Grandfather. He’s blinded by love.” She put on a nice pose. Her vanity was the only thing that had not left her all these years. “You look super pretty, Grandma.” Little Jacob said, with a matter-of-fact tone in his voice. “Thanks baby.” She kissed his cheek. “Now you have all the chocolates you want. Don’t tell your mom!”

The party had begun and everyone had arrived dressed in their best. The music, the food, the dancing set the environment well. Scott was waiting beside the balcony that led out to the party. Beth walked to where he was and took hold of his hand. He led her outside where everyone greeted her with cheers and clapping. She hadn’t had a party since she was nine, so this was a special occasion. The crowd was cheerful and courteous. Beth hugged and chatted with everyone there. Old friends, new friends, and family surrounded her. They were all united by the memories they shared.

It was time for a toast. Scott stood up and began, “My dearest Beth, after all the years I’ve known her has decided to finally celebrate her birthday. I figured there was no sense in asking her why now. She has always had a mind of her own. I must say that in these thirty-five I have shared with her, everything has been adventurous, scary, and comical. There’s never a dull moment with my baby and I’ll celebrate our love forever.” Everyone clapped. Scott was sweet and corny as always.

“Let’s hear it from the birthday girl!” Someone shouted in the crowd.

Beth then stood up and glanced around, before she could say anything, the faces in the crowd started going back in time. She looked out and there was her daughter, Joette. Beth saw her as a teenager again. She recalled all the hard times where she swore it was payback for all the terrible things she did when was young. She also recalled the time when Joette sat on her lap telling her all the things she wanted to do when she grew up. She was doing them now and Beth knew she helped her get there. What a great satisfaction.

Her parents stood towards the back, holding each other. Their marriage had been the greatest example for her to follow. She then looked up at her husband, standing beside her, looking as amazing and handsome as ever. Scott had the same smile that he did forty years ago. Although he was the perfect man, they had had their trying times, but every night before they went to sleep he’d tell her he loved her. Everyday, he had said she was beautiful. Their marriage was the greatest accomplishment of her life.

Their grandchildren carried so many of their traits, both good and bad. Now, these strengths and weaknesses appeared so different. When they are one’s own, it seems the world is coming to an end. Observing from a grandmother’s view, they’re not so fatal after all.

Beth then saw herself, surrounded by love and an accomplished life. What she would have given to have known forty years ago that everything was going to turn out all right. If she could say anything to her twenty-one year old self, it would be this: “Relax. Enjoy the things that are truly valuable, like family and good friends. Work hard, because your dreams are beautiful and in forty years they will be applauded by all the people that believe in you.”

Beth snapped back into reality. She still had the glass in her hand and everyone had theirs raised in anticipation. She began, “Thank you all for being here today. The reason I am finally having a birthday party, is because as I look around, I have so much to celebrate… so much to be grateful for. Life has been good!” She ended on that note. Everyone expected something longer and possibly as corny as Scott’s toast, but that was all Beth wanted and needed to say. It was a good day, and so far, a good life.

Sonny's Blues

Sonny's Blues had the theme of suffering set in the ghetto of New York city. It tells of two African-American brothers who come to understand each other. Throughout the story, Sonny's brother is the narrator. It is interesting to see what convinces another person of one's case. The narrator step by step grows closer to empathy of his brother's conditions. It seems as if suffering and sadness are always the greater crowd charmers. Many literary texts revolve around adversity. Is it perhaps because the tale of life is mainly composed of tribulations? Maybe that is what the text means when it says, "For while the tale of how we suffer and how we are delighted, and how we may triumph is never new, it always must be heard. There isn't any other tale to tell." I noticed, however, that in this passage the word triumph was included as if a continuation of how we suffer. So there is the process: There is no triumph without tribulation.

In class, Professor Corrigan taught us the art of lectio divina, which is a four step meditation of selected passages. Originally used by the monks, it bears great effectiveness for understanding and applying a text. As we pondered on some of the texts from Sonny's Blues, I focused on the one where he says, "All I know about music is that not many people ever really hear it.." My reflection of it was that through the blues, the musician was expressing his suffering, but for others it was a beautiful sound. They did not know where the passion came from or the history behind the notes. Sonny was able to find refuge behind the beautiful melodies and turn his suffering into something magnificent.

The last step was to find a prayer. Mine was this:
God,
Help me come to the understand that my suffering and past can be turned into something beautiful. That where I come from only makes where I am all the more astounding. That is why I can and should give thanks in all things. Amen.

The Imaginary Invalid

I thought the play An Imaginary Invalid was a very inventive comedy. The scenery was colorful and expressive. I appreciated the superb acting, especially from my friends who played parts. I can see why Professor Corrigan would have us watch this play. In some respect, plays or movies have a literary sense, because they began with a script that someone wrote. Whoever wrote the script had a specific scheme and aspiration. Seeing through the play or between the lines of the script can be an eye-opener to what inspired the writer. I truly enjoyed watching a play with a more analytical mindset. Plays, books, poems, and songs all complement each other. We ask the same questions about for all of these about themes, meaning, stance of the author.

The play was about a man named Argan who acts sick because of a strange fixation with doctors. I thought it was funny to see how a person’s fixation or lie could grow more and more until the separation between reality and fantasy is almost nonexistent. Argan’s maid suggests that he play dead in order to unveil the true loyalty of his second wife and daughter. He follows her advice and discovers that his second wife only wants his money and that his daughter truly loves him. In a humorous scene, Argan revives from the dead in front of his wife first and confronts his wife. Later he revives in front of his daughter, who sincerely loves him, and lets her marry the man she wishes.

Although the play is a comedy, I enjoyed it because, in my opinion, it had quality lessons. First of all, people shouldn’t live a lie because they will only get entangled in it till reality is questionable. Secondly, the true intentions and loyalty of people will be found out. Since this was a class project, I tried to find some theme or meaning within the comedy and hopefully I did.

I attended Southeastern's production of The Imaginary Invalid and watched the entire play.

Where Is God When I Want Him? - A reflection from A Grief Observed

I will quote C.S. Lewis from his book, A Grief Observed. “Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption” The times when I have felt distant and lacking of God’s presence have not always been the worst stages of my life. This is hard to admit, since I have grown up in a Christian home, where God is everything including oxygen. My mother would probably hit me over the head, merely for thinking it. However, reality and the way a person feels when reality hits them, is never a sin. Can there be a sense of happiness away from God? When I speak of being away from God, I am referring to the conscious acts done against what we believe God disapproves of. When God comes knocking at my door, many times I have not wanted to answer. I do not want to put down everything I am doing and render myself to His will. God is a commitment and many times I’m not ready to make that leap of faith. However, once I find myself lost or in the midst of adversity I find myself running to my knight in shining armor seeking to be rescued. It is the symptom of life sickness. Once we have had our fill of life and all it has to offer, we find ourselves stuffed and sick, wanting a quick fix. There are no quick fixes, however, so why should God be one? It would almost be an injustice if God were always so close and accessible, just when we want or need him. I suppose the best way to look at it is that God is available at just the right time.

Blogging and Class activities

I can see how the blogging and the activities connect what we are reading about so well. Blogging is a great way to be more involved with the material and be able to process the information for better understanding. Relating to the text through personal experience, questions, reflections are great ways to engage in literature. The blogging project and the activities done in class both have the common factor of capturing the meaning of the texts. Some of the activities performed in class are listening to music, theatrical reading, painting, field trips, and group discussions. When I read a piece of literature and try to understand the meaning and theme of the text it brings to memory my own experiences that are similar. Group discussions have allowed me to communicate more appropriately the subjects of literature we are reviewing in class. Literature is not just about reading, but about the capability of telling a story as well. Talking about the texts with a group really enables me to put my thoughts and feelings into words, which is essential for writing. Without fully understanding the material, it would be impossible to do the activities thoroughly and the same goes with the blogging assignments. Blogging allows me to go through the material more than once to make sure that the material makes sense. Writing about it makes the reading more clear and understandable which helps me to remember what I have read. The quality of the blogs shows how much the student has really captured the text. The professor has given us many useful patterns and techniques to understand literature better and the blogs and activities are great resources in the literature class. Literature has truly come alive for me. All though many of the stories are old and the writers may be even dead, their meaning and life experiences continue repeating in my life and in others. Literature can never grow old and it is amazing to be able to relate to all these authors in the present day.

Reading Poetry - from a Singer's perspective

I learned a lot from the article “How to Read a Poem.” It is not about simply putting the letters together and forming audible words with one’s tongue. One must be submerged into the meaning and theme of the poems. The article explained that when reading a poem, it is good to converse with it by asking questions. Every piece of literature is a shared experience that must be told and related to in a special way. I know that studying literature is extremely important for me, because it helps me communicate the important thoughts and experiences in my life to others. Everyone wants to be heard, wants the events in their lives to amount to something. It can, but first one has to learn how to transfer the significance that he or she feels these events have.

I can relate to feeling and understanding poetry because of my singing background. I have sung many songs of other artists and it is of utmost importance to examine the song first. I ask questions like, “What did the author feel when writing this,” “What parts of this song may have had special meaning?” Understanding the song as if it were my own experience is so important, because I can’t sing about something I don’t understand or appreciate. When you mean something and you sing it, the energy that you transfer through the song is incredible. It goes beyond just the words, notes, and instruments. Singing with the heart meets the full purpose of the song. In the same way, I feel literature should be understood and communicated with the full feel of what the author wanted to express.

I enjoyed how this article made reading literature a challenge. Grasping, connecting, and having that “Ahhh” moment were particular things I appreciated in the article. Certainly, it is not the easiest practice to accomplish, but practice makes perfect. Whether or not I continue my studies beyond my BA, literature will be my ongoing educational experience. It’s a challenge and it will keep my mind sharp. I have always thought continuous learning is essential, yet I had never considered it being in the area of literature. What could be better however? As my life progresses, I will have access to the experience and lessons of others through literature. Literature is the experiences we share.

Joel

As I read from the book of Joel while sitting beside the lake, I was able to take in much more of the passage. I enjoyed the contrast of the peaceful ambience that I was surrounded by and the chaos of the passages I was reading. Many of the verses were dark and full of lament. The way nature is described in Joel is beautifully panoramic in a dire sense. I could picture the calm lake turning into something dreadful, but I could not imagine how that would be possible. For all the more reason, it made the passages in Joel more impacting.

My favorite part of the passage is in chapter 2, where the Lord calls to repentance. He says, “And rend your hearts not your garments.” Before, offerings to the Lord were mostly sacrificial/material objects. The Lord, however in this verse is asking for the heart, not the sacrifice. It’s a very poetic and romantic notion. He is not asking for a people that will follow a set of rules or tradition. He is seeking a people that will search Him with a sincere heart. It goes in accordance with what we have been talking about in class: the type of Christian that just walks the walk and the type that asks the hard questions. I think rending our heart is also being honest, real with God, real with our doubts and feelings. He already knows what is in our hearts, but many times we don’t. In chapter 3 of A Grief Observed, Lewis speaks about God putting us through things so that we will know our true character and heart better.

In conclusion, I do believe that the Bible can be literature, and IS the greatest piece of literature ever written. It has so many stories, both good and bad. It gives a realistic view of humanity and its faults. It leaves room for self-examination and helps us with our quality of life. The Bible is not all black and white, we have made it that way. On the contrary, it leaves one with plenty theological ignorance, to which we can rack our brains… like a good book.

The Things They Carried

The Things They Carried was a great story. It portrayed war, death, and the distractions of love in a very real way. The story and theme fitted perfectly with the scenario of Marine grunts, who face the reality of death on a frequent basis. The daydreaming and wandering off that the grunt faced because he was in love gave it a very sentimental touch. The story also talked about the tangible things we carry, like water or clothes and the intangible things, like guilt or a heavy heart. We shared an interesting thought in class Friday; that intangible things are the truly significant ones. When he burnt the pictures of his love, he was getting rid of the tangible, yet he still had her memory, which was intangible. I think that anything tangible, once it has an intangible significance it becomes of worth. That’s why the pictures were only meaningful because the man had feelings of love, desire, and longing for the girl in them. All those are intangible things he carried.

The story hit home with me because my brother is currently a Marine grunt getting ready for war in Afghanistan. A part in the book that reminded me of him was where the grunt is in his foxhole, looking over the pictures and letters. He said he kept on thinking how he could get that moment back with her and touch her knee all night long. The knee wasn’t really what he wanted, but in a moment of such loneliness, even the chance he missed to keep his hand on her knee for a second more, haunted him. My brother says that when you are in a foxhole and it’s cold, lonely, and scary that even the sort of boring things you used to do become so desirable. You wish you were someplace else and you allow your mind to wander off to where it feels safer.

Kind of going with what we’ve been talking about all class- Perhaps although we should be realistic about love, life, and death; we should also leave some room for simple daydreaming. Dare to wander a little bit, in the midst of such real ugliness. Nevertheless, it did the grunt in the story no good.

Chapter 4

A Grief Observed has been such an eye-opening experience. Seeing a man in the frailness of his humanity go through the stages of grief and loss is the truly real. Maybe in death and sadness, reality is better observed.

In chapter 4 C.S. Lewis states some powerful things. My favorite quote was, "Not my idea of God, but God." I have been debating the same issues in my own personal life. I don't want my notion of who, what, how God is to be another myth or rumor passed down. My whole life I lived with two ministers. My mother and father are both wonderful people, but everything they have taught me they want me to take it as the complete truth. The deeper I sought for the complete truth the more lost I felt. I began to ask God, "Show me who you really are. What are you like? Do I even have the right assumptions about you?" As odd or funny as it may sound, I felt relieved to be able to ask Him honestly. Without fancy words to suit my doubtful questions. Like the professor said that Theology isn't a white and black WHAT I KNOW I KNOW about God. I can now say that this book has helped my begin a journey to understand more completely who God is. I don't want to find all the answer to my questions. I just want to ask the right questions. Like I mentioned before, my heart and mind have come to terms. How can we ever solve the mysteries of God and life? How can we prove anything... even the goodness of God? I find myself so comfortable in this theological ignorance.

Chapter 2&3 - Questioning

In Chapter 2, C.S. Lewis vents his grief in such a way that it almost seems blasphemous. He questions the goodness of God, the intentions of God towards humanity and the idea of heaven. It seems to me that the realness of death struck him so, that the idea of a quick fix, such as heaven, seemed to surreal. Lewis should no disregard toward fantasy. He did however write the chronicles of Narnia. I think that is why a place like heaven and the fantastical paradigms people have towards eternal life were like a chapter he would write in a book... for children. Real life, which includes real death are the only tangible and meaningful things. He says,

And the past is the past and that is what time means, and time itself is one more name for death, and Heaven itself is a state where 'the former things have passed away.

It was impacting to see a man in his frail state of humanity express his doubts in such bold manner. Everybody has doubts. No one is exempt. Letting others see them and see our struggles, however, is something that few people do. It must be done at some point in everyone's life. In chapter 3, Lewis comes to terms with the knowledge that he cannot find the answers to all his questions. This spoke to my situation. I have been doubting God, redemption, the exclusivity of Christianity, and basically everything I've been taught. It's so hard to sort out what is real and what is simply a message from yet another misinformed person. Good God, bad God? Jesus-God? I can go on and on. Yet kind of like in chapter 3, I have come to terms. My heart and my head have made peace with each other. I know what works and I feel what's real. Hopefully, God will guide me in the rest and show me what is Him and what is not.

The Rape of Lucrece

The Rape of Lucrece is one of Shakespeare's plays. I chose it as my piece of literature for my class field trip because first of all it caught my attention with the abrupt title. As I began to read it, I really got into the story. It was full of distasteful matters dressed in eloquent and realistic words.

I thoroughly enjoyed the way Shakespeare described all the thought and emotions that processed through the main characters. In the beginning of the story, the man conceives the sin in his heart. He starts to entertain the thought of being with the young lady. After some time, he wants her so badly that he convinces himself to take her by force. As he makes his way to her bedroom he is encountered with difficulties. In the same way that we don't take a hint when we are about to do something wrong, this man doesn't either. His desire for her is enforced by the extra effort he has had to make to get to her. He says, "Till the minutes repay the hour my debt." Classic thought in the progression of a sinful action. The he begins praying to God that he will be able to quench the thirst for the girl by commiting this mortal wrong. The part that I most enjoyed was after he took what he wanted. There was a verse that said, "Pure Chastity is rifled of her store, And Lust, the thief, far poorer than before." I love this quote because it speaks of how even as we feed our lust it is never satisfied. Instead of enriching our weaknesses, they become every stronger in debilitating us. The man was not satisfied once he was done. You cannot meet the needs of lust. You give it what it wants and it will be far poorer than before.

The last thing that caught my attention was PRICELESS. In order to relieve himself of some guilt, he began to blame the girl for being so pretty. She was so beautiful, she was asking for it! - Wow. Shakespeare put it out there... some men will never cease to surprise us.

Literary Profile

As a child, my mother would always give me books and encourage me to read stories. I learned how to read quite well at the age of five. My mother would tell me when I read to use my imagination, my brain’s most powerful tool. Just like every girl, I would imagine being a princess or finding a secret garden. Tales are not an idle pastime. I prefer to view them as positive attributions to our reality. The works or literature that I most appreciate are The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. They have almost nothing in common from plot to style. Nevertheless, both books impacted me. The Hobbit had a great amount of moral values worth extracting throughout the story. I love Pride and Prejudice because the author seemed to be a very observant person. This is why she could describe social encounters and dilemmas with such eloquence. My goal is to one day read the original Don Quijote De La Mancha. This book is probably second to the Bible. It is two volumes and in its original castellano, is a very challenging book to read. Other than that, play writes would be the next area I would love to explore.